Pastor Dave Ginter
 
My sister has been at home with Jesus now for ten years. But I draw from her wisdom. Here is one brief article she wrote, explaining how she handles disagreements.
Pastor Dave

My mother was a very wise woman.  I can remember her sage advice, “If there is something between you and someone else, it’s because there is something first between you and God.”  I often think of that when I have a disagreement with someone.  After the initial problem, I start to process certain questions: “What did I do to contribute to this?  Am I being self-centered?”  (a problem between me and God); “Am I demanding my rights?”  (I’m suppose to be dead in Christ.  A dead person has no rights.  I long ago turned over to God any so called rights I had.  Now He is suppose to worry about them, not me.  I must have taken some back, if my rights were violated!)

So how do I handle these problems with others?  Sometimes well; sometimes not so well.  When I’m doing it right, I ask myself the above questions.  Then, if I had no real contribution to the problem (rare!), I choose not to take the offense and tell the Lord this.  That means I choose not to think about the sharp words, the hurt I felt.  Instead, I ask the Lord to forgive the person, and in turn to help me FEEL forgiveness.

To the best of my ability, with the Holy Spirit’s strong help, I shut down the “right” to think about the things said unless there is some good that can come from it.  Depending on the circumstance, this can be a hard thing to do, but it is the only way I’ve found to keep from being overly wounded by people, and in turn, not to let people interfere in my joy in the Lord.  Asking the Lord to bless them also is helpful, and recognizing they may have had a “bad day” or problems I’m unaware of.  I ask the Lord to show me how He sees them and this situation.  In so doing, I can avoid much of the critical spirit that would keep me from staying close to Him.
 


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